One year ago, First Daughter was leaving. She had decided to go back to Switzerland to live with her Dad. She was not happy here in Germany, and our relationship was not brilliant, to say the least. It was incredibly hard to let her go, I was not prepared for my child to spread her wings so early. There was however a part of relief too, as we had been fighting so much. I think we were both exhausted by it all. This did not help when the car left, though. I had the impression that my heart was breaking into tiny pieces.
First Daughter has just left again, after a two week holiday with us. It was so fantastic to have her here. There was only one shouting episode, after yet another sibling squabble, which ended with Second Daughter crying. The rest of the time was absolutely lovely. First Daughter was happy, always ready to help me with the shopping, in the kitchen or caring for Sexy Hubby’s little niece, who was staying with us for a week. We enjoyed spending time alone while Second Daughter was still at school. We went to a café together, she came to the gym with me, and she got up at a very reasonable time every morning, despite being on holiday, which meant that I got to have more time with her. I cannot speak for her, but I am amazed at how much our relationship has changed. She is geographically far away, but from a soul point of view so much closer. It is a very good feeling. She is so grown up now, but still needs my help or advice at times, which I am of course delighted to provide and brings a smile to my face. I think she has also realized that her Mum is not so horrible after all, and that her Dad is not the perfect creature she thought he was. I am not saying this in a nasty way, he is not a bad person and their shared lives seem to be OK, but it is nice to see that balance has been restored.
Do I still miss her? Of course I do. Is this arrangement working for us? Yes it is, we have all adjusted to it. The time we have together is now really precious, and we go straight to the essential. The two weeks that just went by also reassured me further. First Daughter is turning into a fine, wonderful young woman. And words are not enough to describe how proud I am of her.
Photo copyright: © Jaytee Van Stean – 2011.
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